Letter from Debbie
Apr 23 2010
A letter
from Debbie, answering some frequently asked
questions about Healing Hidden Hurts.
“If
a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes
astray, will He not leave the ninety nine in the
hills and go in search of the stray? And if He finds
it, Amen, I say to you, He rejoices more over it than
over the ninety-nine that did not stray. In just the
same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father
that one of these little ones be
lost.” Matthew
18:11-14
April 2010
Greetings, my Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I would like to take the opportunity with this letter to answer some questions that come up frequently. Perhaps these are questions that you have thought of yourself. I hope this letter answers your questions as well.
Why do we have Healing Hidden Hurts ministry, when there are the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat / and Rachel’s Companions Support Group program offered by the archdiocese?
When I received the call to begin the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry, there was no active post-abortion ministry operating in the archdiocese. The Forgiven and Set Free Bible study was offered by the Crisis Pregnancy Centers.
Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo was invited to the archdiocese after the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry was established. I helped her with the first two sessions of Rachel’s Companions, then realized I was being pulled away from the work that God had called me to do so I had to make a choice. Was God calling me to work for Sister Diane or was He calling me to be faithful to what He had originally called me to begin? I felt that because God is all knowing and His timing is perfect, it was not a mistake that the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry was already established before Sister Diane came and that I was to continue the mission given to me while still supporting her work.
This choice was very difficult for me because I had prayed for a full-time director to work in the Office for Pro-Life Ministry. This work is so greatly needed and important for the Church. But Sister Diane told me, “The Lord works in His Church in two ways - through the institutional Church and through the Holy Spirit. Your ministry is a work of the Holy Spirit.” This helped me find my place in the Church.
I consecrated myself to the Immaculate Conception and became a Missionary Servant of the Gospel of Life under the direction of Sister Diane so I do support her and admire all the good works she has done in our archdiocese. But I must be faithful to the work God has entrusted to me.
The Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats are a fairly recent ministry for the archdiocese, and very much needed. Those who attend the retreats are blessed, and find healing and closure. But it’s not for everyone. There are those who would fall through the cracks, do not want to attend a group program, do not want anyone to know they have had an abortion or do not even know that the Rachel programs are offered here.
Our Lord is the Good Shepherd. He knows all our sins, pains and sorrows. He knows our brokenness, and He knows what we need to find healing and reconciliation. The ninety-nine from the sheepfold will attend Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats, but Jesus himself will seek the one who has gone astray and the Holy Spirit will bring her to Healing Hidden Hurts, where she will receive His intensive care.
Sometimes in the world we think in terms of either/or, but in the Church we often think in terms of either/and. The Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats and Rachel’s Companion programs and Healing Hidden Hurts ministry are not opposed, but compliment one another. Human suffering does not fit in a neat little one-size-fits-all box because individuals have different needs at different times. Some women have come through Healing Hidden Hurts after a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat because they want to go deeper in their healing and want individual time to sort through and assimilate their experience. Some women who have been through the Healing Hidden Hurts Ten-Step Program have later gone to a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat because they want a group experience.
What are some of the differences between these two Programs? I have not attended a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat program - not because I didn’t want to, but because twice when I wanted to go I was prevented by unforeseen circumstances. I felt this was the Lord’s way of saying “no,” not yet. But sometime in the future the answer may be “yes.” Perhaps soon Wally and I may go together.
Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat is an abortion reconciliation weekend for men and women or couples. A priest and professional therapists are on hand as well as lay facilitators to lead and assist the group. There are times for listening, sharing and praying. There are rituals that are common in our Catholic tradition that are meaningful. The Retreat is offered twice a year and there is a fee, but I understand no one is turned away.
Healing Hidden Hurts is a free, individual, Ten-Step Program for women offered year round. I am not a professional therapist; my expertise comes from my own abortion and conversion experience and from what I’ve learned while helping women recover over the last ten years. This program is time intensive in that we spend approximately 20 to 30 hours over the course of three to six months to complete the sessions. She does the work of praying and doing assignments in preparation for the next step. As the facilitator, I pray for her, listen and guide her through the program. The Holy Spirit helps her during the week while she is reflecting and preparing for our next session, and the Holy Spirit helps me to say and do what needs to be said and done. She needs to tell her story and hear herself. She may need a shoulder to cry on or someone to let her vent pent-up anger. She needs to feel understood and she needs to find her voice. This program is also taught to others who feel called to bring this program into their own parish community.
Why should I support Healing Hidden Hurts financially? During these difficult economic times all of the non-profit ministries are struggling to survive. This ministry is too, and is smaller than most. We are not big enough for grant money or corporate sponsors. Our largest donations come from parish visits when I share my witness during the weekend liturgies. The rest of the ministries income is from private donations. Some women who have gone through the program support the ministry afterward, but many are not financially able to donate money.
Your financial support allows this ministry to continue reaching the women who are in crisis and need immediate help from someone who understands what she may be experiencing. Donations allow me to share my abortion and conversion witness wherever I am invited. The Lord called me to leave my work in the world in order to work for Him, so I trust that God will provide for our financial needs because He says that when He calls you to do something He provides the means to do it. So I place my trust in the Lord, and my hope in you!
May God bless you and yours this Easter season!
Debbie Miller
April 2010
Greetings, my Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I would like to take the opportunity with this letter to answer some questions that come up frequently. Perhaps these are questions that you have thought of yourself. I hope this letter answers your questions as well.
Why do we have Healing Hidden Hurts ministry, when there are the Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat / and Rachel’s Companions Support Group program offered by the archdiocese?
When I received the call to begin the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry, there was no active post-abortion ministry operating in the archdiocese. The Forgiven and Set Free Bible study was offered by the Crisis Pregnancy Centers.
Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo was invited to the archdiocese after the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry was established. I helped her with the first two sessions of Rachel’s Companions, then realized I was being pulled away from the work that God had called me to do so I had to make a choice. Was God calling me to work for Sister Diane or was He calling me to be faithful to what He had originally called me to begin? I felt that because God is all knowing and His timing is perfect, it was not a mistake that the Healing Hidden Hurts ministry was already established before Sister Diane came and that I was to continue the mission given to me while still supporting her work.
This choice was very difficult for me because I had prayed for a full-time director to work in the Office for Pro-Life Ministry. This work is so greatly needed and important for the Church. But Sister Diane told me, “The Lord works in His Church in two ways - through the institutional Church and through the Holy Spirit. Your ministry is a work of the Holy Spirit.” This helped me find my place in the Church.
I consecrated myself to the Immaculate Conception and became a Missionary Servant of the Gospel of Life under the direction of Sister Diane so I do support her and admire all the good works she has done in our archdiocese. But I must be faithful to the work God has entrusted to me.
The Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats are a fairly recent ministry for the archdiocese, and very much needed. Those who attend the retreats are blessed, and find healing and closure. But it’s not for everyone. There are those who would fall through the cracks, do not want to attend a group program, do not want anyone to know they have had an abortion or do not even know that the Rachel programs are offered here.
Our Lord is the Good Shepherd. He knows all our sins, pains and sorrows. He knows our brokenness, and He knows what we need to find healing and reconciliation. The ninety-nine from the sheepfold will attend Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats, but Jesus himself will seek the one who has gone astray and the Holy Spirit will bring her to Healing Hidden Hurts, where she will receive His intensive care.
Sometimes in the world we think in terms of either/or, but in the Church we often think in terms of either/and. The Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats and Rachel’s Companion programs and Healing Hidden Hurts ministry are not opposed, but compliment one another. Human suffering does not fit in a neat little one-size-fits-all box because individuals have different needs at different times. Some women have come through Healing Hidden Hurts after a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat because they want to go deeper in their healing and want individual time to sort through and assimilate their experience. Some women who have been through the Healing Hidden Hurts Ten-Step Program have later gone to a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat because they want a group experience.
What are some of the differences between these two Programs? I have not attended a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat program - not because I didn’t want to, but because twice when I wanted to go I was prevented by unforeseen circumstances. I felt this was the Lord’s way of saying “no,” not yet. But sometime in the future the answer may be “yes.” Perhaps soon Wally and I may go together.
Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat is an abortion reconciliation weekend for men and women or couples. A priest and professional therapists are on hand as well as lay facilitators to lead and assist the group. There are times for listening, sharing and praying. There are rituals that are common in our Catholic tradition that are meaningful. The Retreat is offered twice a year and there is a fee, but I understand no one is turned away.
Healing Hidden Hurts is a free, individual, Ten-Step Program for women offered year round. I am not a professional therapist; my expertise comes from my own abortion and conversion experience and from what I’ve learned while helping women recover over the last ten years. This program is time intensive in that we spend approximately 20 to 30 hours over the course of three to six months to complete the sessions. She does the work of praying and doing assignments in preparation for the next step. As the facilitator, I pray for her, listen and guide her through the program. The Holy Spirit helps her during the week while she is reflecting and preparing for our next session, and the Holy Spirit helps me to say and do what needs to be said and done. She needs to tell her story and hear herself. She may need a shoulder to cry on or someone to let her vent pent-up anger. She needs to feel understood and she needs to find her voice. This program is also taught to others who feel called to bring this program into their own parish community.
Why should I support Healing Hidden Hurts financially? During these difficult economic times all of the non-profit ministries are struggling to survive. This ministry is too, and is smaller than most. We are not big enough for grant money or corporate sponsors. Our largest donations come from parish visits when I share my witness during the weekend liturgies. The rest of the ministries income is from private donations. Some women who have gone through the program support the ministry afterward, but many are not financially able to donate money.
Your financial support allows this ministry to continue reaching the women who are in crisis and need immediate help from someone who understands what she may be experiencing. Donations allow me to share my abortion and conversion witness wherever I am invited. The Lord called me to leave my work in the world in order to work for Him, so I trust that God will provide for our financial needs because He says that when He calls you to do something He provides the means to do it. So I place my trust in the Lord, and my hope in you!
May God bless you and yours this Easter season!
Debbie Miller